It's September which means my very favorite month of the year is right around the corner which makes my heart super happy. I was so excited to end August. It was a crap month, full of lots of really really LOWS and very few HIGHS.
In August, my dad who became very ill after a very simple routine surgery, declined rapidly. There is a post sitting in my drafts detailing this more, but i've been unable to post it. For some reason, making the decision to take my estranged father off life support was much more traumatic than I could have imagined. Sitting in a funeral home making arrangements for someone who has for better or worse, made a huge impact on my entire world, was something I could not prepare for. It came with so many emotions that I didn't expect. My dad was not a saint, far from it, and while so much of our relationship feels impossible to explain, i'll say I hope he finally has peace. I hope we can all find peace.
So, August was full of ugly, sad tears and the further realization that life is so incredibly fragile and what we do with it is POWERFUL. We truly have the power to impact people forever, whether good or bad, our actions matter! Our words matter! Our behavior matters!
2016 has been a rough year for us, we've faced loss over and over. Father, grandmother, aunt, uncle, cousin, close friend. It's been a year full of lessons and sadness, but also really beautiful moments as well and I realize how freakin' blessed I am. I want to focus on the positives today. So here we go:
-I'm married to my very best friend. I can't imagine a day without him. He's my rock, my supporter, makes me laugh so hard I cry, agrees to my weirdo antics like playing hide-and-go-seek with our dog, always patient, always kind even when I don't deserve it, and always puts me first. In a dark year he is the continuous BRIGHT light.
-My career! FINALLY! I struggled to find my place for a long time and now that I'm here I have to pinch myself that this is what I get to do. In January I was folding laundry while sitting in the floor crying to my husband about careers and paths and roads to take or not take. We had a conversation about "dream" jobs and what I wanted to happen etc. I listed several 'dream' scenarios and we laughed (through my tears) about it because it was truly a DREAM. Less than 2 months later I was offered that actual dream. And even now all these months later it still seems so surreal that everything on that list came to fruition. I think about that moment, sitting in my bedroom floor crying, and I still can't believe where I am now! I'm grateful. So, so, so grateful for dreams that happen.
-Our house! We knew when we bought our house that it wouldn't be our forever home! But, now that we've replaced and remodeled and done everything there is to do, it seems surreal that we could be selling it in the next year or so. It's been such an AMAZING adventure and regardless of the time we have left here, I want to embrace it because this place has been incredible. I stalk zillow daily and i'm excited for the next adventure when the time is right.
-C is headed back to school for what will be the start to his FINAL degree! I'll be calling him, Dr. Husband in the near future. I'm so so happy and excited for him!
So much to look forward to and to be thankful for! These are just a few of the things that I am focusing on currently.